he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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