it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
