The maid of honor just puked.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
