in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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