I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
