this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
