just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
