You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
