just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
