"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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