He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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