the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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