8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
