i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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