They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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