at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
