Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
