Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
