just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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