Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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