This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
