if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
