their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
