everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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