Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
