The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
