She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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