Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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