How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
