Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
