The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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