Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We don't watch enough power rangers
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
