If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
