I am puke
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
