They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
