The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
