i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
