Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
you had me at cake vodka
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
