I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
