we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
