If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you never un-have a 4some
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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