Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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