didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
