the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
