I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
