i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I know her cup size but not her name....
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