Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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