oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
