dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
