I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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